3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
