Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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