seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
