A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
