how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
