Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
