Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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