he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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