who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
