"it" just moved
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
