I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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