we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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