My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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