we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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