Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
