Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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