porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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