Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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