you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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