I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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