If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize