well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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