he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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