Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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