oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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