i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
