Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
