eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
