feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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