I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
