It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
