Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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