is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
