Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
