Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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