I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
