we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
