Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize