If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
