Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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