then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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