k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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