When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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