I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
