You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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