Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
