This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
