we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize