Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
