Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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