Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
