if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
