Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
