just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
