i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You took a bar mat shot.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
