I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
