do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
