Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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