I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize