why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't turn off my feet"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize