shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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