Can i not drive my cunt home
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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