You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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