Say something about gay babies.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Life is so much better after having sex.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
