My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
