My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
