so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
