He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
