Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We don't watch enough power rangers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
