we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
