; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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