Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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