I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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