Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
