help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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